How to Stop Doubting Yourself

Have you ever felt like no one believes in you? Like the people you thought would support you—friends, family, even professionals—are the ones making you doubt yourself the most? 

In this post, I’m breaking down why we struggle to believe in ourselves, how external voices shape our self-doubt, and how to take back control of your own story.

Stop Letting Other People Define You

It’s one thing to get constructive feedback. But when people constantly doubt your abilities—whether it’s family members questioning your career choices or even a therapist invalidating your dreams—you start to internalise their doubts as your own.

Here’s how to stop external opinions from taking over:

• Not everyone’s opinion is valid – Just because someone has an opinion about your life doesn’t mean it’s accurate. Learn to filter out voices that don’t align with your goals.

• Consider where their doubt comes from – People often project their own fears onto you. If they don’t believe in themselves, they may struggle to believe in you.

• Protect your dreams – Be selective about who you share your goals with. Some people won’t understand, and that’s okay.

Recognise When Fear Is Calling The Shots 

One of the biggest reasons we don’t believe in ourselves? Fear. Fear of failing, fear of what people will think, fear of making the wrong choice.

And fear has a sneaky way of making us gaslight ourselves into thinking we don’t want what we actually want. Here’s how to push past it:

• Look at your patterns – If you always pull back from opportunities, switch paths, or hesitate when things get real, it’s worth asking: Am I actually lost, or just scared?

• Break the cycle of second-guessing – When you keep changing your mind about what you want, it’s often because fear is making you avoid commitment.

• Give yourself permission to try – You don’t have to have all the answers right now. You just have to be willing to take the next step.

Reconnect With What Excites You

When self-doubt takes over, it can feel like you’ve lost yourself. You start to forget your own strengths, your own accomplishments, and even who you really are.

That’s why regaining confidence isn’t just about motivation—it’s about remembering who you are. Here’s how to start:

• Keep a ‘proof bank’ – Write down moments when you succeeded, when you overcame something hard, when you proved yourself wrong. Keep it somewhere visible as a reminder that you can do it.

• Get back in touch with your goals – What do you actually enjoy? What lights you up? Sometimes, we get so lost in other people’s opinions that we forget what we love.

• Take small wins seriously – Confidence doesn’t come from waiting until you feel “ready.” It comes from taking action, even when you’re scared.

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, the only person who truly knows what you’re capable of is you.

If you’ve been doubting yourself because of external opinions, fear, or self-gaslighting, it’s time to take back control. Here’s what to remember:

• Other people don’t get to define you – Their doubts are not your truth.

• Fear doesn’t mean stop—it means push forward – Most of the time, what we’re scared of is exactly what we should be chasing.

• You’ve succeeded before—you’ll succeed again – Remind yourself of past wins, and trust that you have what it takes.

If today’s post resonated with you, here’s how you can explore these ideas further you can listen to the full episode on The Deborah Missengue Podcast.

Remember, you are more capable than you believe. It’s time to start trusting yourself again.