A Quick Introduction To Setting Boundaries

Today’s blog is inspired by a very personal struggle I’ve faced: How do I separate my work life from my home life? If you’re someone who’s also struggling to manage your emotions at work, especially when your home life feels chaotic, this episode is for you.

For a long time, I believed that I had to be okay all the time—showing up at work with a brave face, even when things at home were overwhelming. But the truth is, it’s okay to not be okay. You don’t always have to show up 100%, and it’s essential to learn how to communicate your needs at work when things get tough.

1. Realise that you're not okay

Before you can effectively manage the balance between work and home life, you need to check in with yourself. Ask yourself: Am I okay? Many of us ignore our own needs, focusing on others or trying to push through, but this only leads to burnout.

• Recognise when you’re struggling: It’s easy to push difficult emotions aside, but that only builds up stress in the long run. Start by being honest with yourself.

• It’s okay to not be okay: You don’t have to be perfect or act like everything’s fine all the time. Acknowledging that you’re struggling is the first step toward regaining control.

• Take care of your emotional health: If you don’t prioritise your own wellbeing, it will affect both your personal life and your work performance. Self-awareness is key to knowing when it’s time to make a change.

2. Start Setting Boundaries For Yourself

One of the most significant challenges I faced was recognising that I wasn’t setting healthy boundaries between my personal life and work. I was constantly juggling phone calls, family responsibilities, and personal issues while at work, which led to exhaustion and frustration. 

The reality is that work isn’t designed to handle emotions. It’s a place where professionalism is expected, and the focus is often on the client or the company, not on your emotional state.

• Establish clear boundaries: Make a conscious effort to limit personal distractions during work hours. This might mean avoiding non-urgent phone calls or setting specific times when you’re unavailable.

• Know what you need: In my case, it involved having a conversation with my manager to explain my situation as a full-time carer. I asked for specific accommodations that would help me manage both my work and home responsibilities effectively.

3. Communicate How You're Feeling at Work

For a long time, I believed that I had to be okay at work, no matter what was happening in my personal life. I didn’t share what I was going through with anyone—whether it was family drama, caregiving duties, or the general stress of life. But over time, I realised that this wasn’t sustainable.

• Don’t hide what you’re going through: Eventually, I couldn’t keep pretending. Colleagues noticed that I wasn’t myself, and I couldn’t keep up the act.

• Communicate your struggles: While you don’t need to tell everyone, having one trusted colleague or manager to confide in made a huge difference for me. It allowed me to feel seen and heard, and helped me manage my emotions at work.
  

Final Thoughts

If you’re feeling overwhelmed trying to balance home and work life, learning to communicate your needs is crucial. Here are some key takeaways to help you navigate this challenging balance:

• Be self-aware: Regularly check in with yourself. Ask, Am I okay? If the answer is no, take steps to address your emotional health and communicate your needs.

• Set boundaries: Clearly define when you are available and when you need space to manage personal issues, both at work and home.

• Communicate: Find someone at work—a manager or a colleague—whom you can talk to about what’s going on. You don’t have to share every detail, but being open can help create a more supportive environment.

You can listen to the full episode of The Deborah Missengue Podcast on Spotify for more insights into balancing home and work life.